A colleague told me that he’s always been mindful of his kids’ sensitivity to any tension (between him and his wife) around the house and for this reason-he almost finds it difficult to join issues with his wife, even when he is the wronged party-he goes out of his way to make amends. Somehow, it seemed his woman began to push her luck at the slightest chance-because she knew he would want to mend fence as quickly as possible.
On this day, she started her usual drama; he lost it and decided to give her a piece of his mind. When he regained his cool-he looked around and mercifully -the kids were nowhere to be seen. So he decided to walk away from the scene by retreating to his study, he had hardly settled in his study when a particular knock he recognized so well as that of his daughter came softly on the door. When he opened the door, his little girl came into his study, stood looking at him for a while before saying (to him) ‘’Daddy, you have started talking like her. You know she is a ‘shout shout’ mummy’’
He told me that for the first time in his life, he allowed his emotions to overwhelm him in the presence of his daughter. The comforting hug that the little girl gave to him…he will never forget in his life time!
A lady in my group in church that is very close to me had issues that resulted into a huge row with the husband. When the tension at home became unbearable for her-she retreated to her parents’ house with her son. When her father sought to pick the little boy’s brain on what happened. All the little boy was able to tell the grandfather was ‘’he (his father) was calling us ‘ashawo’’’
You see, every other insult that the man hauled at his wife seemed to be lost on that little boy-except that very word, that he’s come to recognize as most degrading for a woman and to that boy, an insult to his mother is also an insult to him and that’s why his response was ‘’he was calling us (not just my mother-but us) ashawo’’.
There is a word of caution for parents here-especially those that are fond of using the kids as pawns during a conflict. Are you of calling your man names like "USELESS MAN' STUPID MAN" LAZY MAN". Deep down, these kids know who the aggressor is. Kids are just that discerning, it matters not how much you try running down your spouse before them-they are very capable of discerning who makes peace(in the house) impossible!
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